


i'll stay with you (and wait for the sunrise)

by tsunamispring



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Fluff and Angst, IwaOi Fluff Week, IwaOi Week 2020 (Haikyuu!!), Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oikawa Tooru is a Little Shit, Pining, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsunamispring/pseuds/tsunamispring
Summary: oikawa tooru has brain cancer. a pity, given his entire life is ahead of him, but that's how fate has it. and he decides not to tell iwaizumi until at some point he can't hide it anymore.there are 25 things he wants to do before he dies, and iwaizumi stays with him through it all.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	i'll stay with you (and wait for the sunrise)

22:43 Email from Oikawa Tooru: 25 Things I Want To Do Before I Die!

Iwaizumi barely had time to skim through the list once before he was interrupted by a call.

22:45 Incoming call from: Shittykawa

"What the hell is up with the title? You're 18, who are you to talk about dying. And there's only 23 things in there, how could you miscount so bad?"

"Ah, you saw my email! Well, what do you think?"

"...did I just see 22. Commit a crime?"

"Life's short Iwa-chan, live to the fullest!"

"Don't motivational-speech your way out of this!"

"So, will you come with me?"

"Okay."

"Awesome! We'll make this a summer you'll never forget!"

"You're so cheesy."

"Yeah? But you still love me."

"I'm hanging up."

"You didn't deny it!"

─

"Hey Iwa-chan, are you scared?" Oikawa leaned casually against one of the fixtures holding up the platform below the rollercoaster boarding terminal, grinning.

"No."

"You look scared~~ Haha, don't be scared! I'll hold your hand when we get on, okay?"

"I'll cut your arm off."

"Ah Iwa-chan, you're mean...if you get scared later don't regret it!"

"..."

"HOLY SHIT IT'S GOING UP WHY AM I LYING DOWN NO I HATE IT HERE NOOOOO-"

"Shut up, the ride hasn't even started yet!"

Needless to say, by the time the ride returned to the station, Oikawa was dazed out. Nudging him to get him out of the seat, Iwaizumi slung both their bags over his shoulder and took Oikawa's hoodie sleeve to lead them out the exit.

"W-Wait Iwa-chan," he said faintly, sinking down onto a low bench by the side of the path. "Dizzy."

Iwaizumi set his bag down beside him, rubbing his back as he sat with his head down. "I told you you'd be scared," he said, but not unkindly. "Let's do something else now. Didn't you want to eat some long ice cream or something?"

Oikawa seemed to brighten up at the mention of ice cream, smoothing down his wind-ruffled hair as he stood. "Okay, let's go!"

Of course, knowing Oikawa, hours later they were back in the same position, this time a victim of the backward rollercoaster he'd begged to go on and promptly regretted.

"You never learn, huh? When did rollercoasters become a weakness..." Iwaizumi remembers Oikawa being the most reckless at rollercoasters when they were younger, smiling and posing for the surprise cameras, proudly announcing afterwards how absolutely harmless the rollercoaster was, and he wonders when things changed.

1\. Visit Disneyland with Iwa-chan!!!  
2\. Make him take the flying dinosaur ride with me  
3\. There's a backward rollercoaster and I'm not passing that up  
4\. Eat one of those extra long milk ice cream bois

─

For all his seeming ignorance in regards to aesthetics, Iwaizumi is surprisingly good at taking pictures. More specifically pictures of Oikawa, considering he doesn't take pictures of himself. Which is another reason why he's the perfect date to bring to the cherry blossom festival.

"Iwa-chan, look this place is so pretty! Our hoodies will look so cute in the picture-" 

Oikawa had somewhat coerced Iwaizumi into matching blush-pink hoodies, and on the train he'd spent about 90% of the time raving about how adorable the floppy sleeves were on his Iwa-chan and how 'smol' the sweater paws made him look. But something kept Iwaizumi from bashing Oikawa's skull in, and all he did was whap him in the stomach with the sleeve and let it go. 

"Hey look there, they're selling sakura dango." Iwaizumi pointed to a little shop at the end of the viewing path, tucked away under the shade of a sakura tree. "It's on your list, isn't it? Let's go."

They split the price on a small paper box of dango drizzled with pink flower-infused sugar syrup, taking candid shots of each other with their mouths full, laughing to death at the pictures and promptly managing to choke until they saw stars. The two boys wheezing and hacking in odd cacophony on the footpath attracted bewildered stares from passers-by, but with each other's company, neither of them really cared.

5\. Go for the cherry blossom festival  
6\. Eat sakura dango

─

"I want to catch a fish with my bare hands," Bokuto declared resolutely, banging his head getting out of the van almost immediately after. "Ow, shit! But I will." 

Kuroo had called a captains' beach trip earlier in the week, claiming no anime was complete without its beach episode, which ended up with the five of them taking a two-day getaway to the beach at the nearest coastal city.

None of them ended up successfully catching a fish barehanded, but Ushijima somehow came limping back to shore with a large brown octopus secured to his left leg.

"It won't come off, all I did was walk around?" 

As if to show his point, he shook his captured foot uselessly, only succeeding in getting its tentacles further up his calf. 

"Can we cook it?" 

The five of them started a beach fire and roasted the octopus over it, eating it fresh with soy sauce packets from the beach convenience store. As the sun started to set, Kuroo and Oikawa left Daichi to watch Bokuto asleep buried in the sand, settling at the edge of the rock pools. 

Tiny crabs and fish populated the rocky dips, bright splotches of color in the dimness of the evening waves. Oikawa dipped his hand into the rippling water to fish out an iridescent green shell, its color complementary to the stretch of cyan ocean in his periphery. 

"What are you thinking?" Kuroo asked suddenly, and Oikawa put down the shell.

"Hm, nothing right now. But...it's been good with you guys."

"Yes. Yes, it has."

8\. Go to the beach  
9\. Bury someone in the sand  
10\. See a tide pool

─

"It's huge, holy shit!" 

Oikawa stood at the entrance to the planetarium's main atrium. The room was wide with an impossibly high ceiling, fixtures of the solar system hanging still from invisible suspension wires. The reflection of the fluorescents off the tinted-fibreglasd planet structures cast undulating shadows on the people below. 

"Iwa-chan, where do you want to go first?" 

They spent the day strolling through exhibits - a projection of the Milky Way, a planet climate simulator, an interactive dance station meant to occupy children but Oikawa seemed to enjoy just fine. 

"Iwa-chan, dance with me!" 

"Shittykawa there's a kid waiting to play, move your ass!" 

"Okay, okay! But you like my ass, right?" 

Iwaizumi only gripped his wrist harder and walked faster, turning away to hide the redness seeping onto his face. "I'm going to frisbee-toss you onto Jupiter and leave you to swing there."

They had lunch at the cafe Oikawa was looking forward to, a Western-style cafe specialising in galaxy-themed food. Oikawa had ordered a squid-ink risotto and Iwaizumi a beef stroganoff, but they might as well have shared it considering the amount of food they stole from each other. 

Of course Oikawa, being the person he was, somehow managed to eat his squid ink risotto without making any mess of his perfect teeth whatsoever, and Iwaizumi caught himself one too many times admiring the neat, mindlessly delicate way he ate.

The taller boy swung their matching alien plush keychains from his fingers, grinning as he walked beside Iwaizumi on the way home. 

"Iwa-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think aliens really exist?" 

"Yeah they do, they're calling and want you back." 

"That's so mean!" 

11\. Visit the planetarium  
12\. Eat at the planetarium's galaxy cafe  
13\. Explore the space exhibition  
14\. Buy an alien plushie!

─

"Iwa-chan and I are gonna win, just watch," Oikawa insisted brightly. "Right? We're the dream team!" 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa, huddled in front of the Dance Dance Revolution song-selection console, laughed to each other and pressed the GO button.

"NOW PLAYING - FANCY (TWICE)" 

All Iwaizumi could do was put his head in his hands. "Oh my god..."

"FANCY~~~~YOU~~UU~~~~IWA-CHAN DO THE HIPS!" 

"CRAPPYKAWA, SHUT UP!" 

The pair of them ended up winning, since Makki and Mattsun spent more time videoing the other pair than actually dancing, but Iwaizumi was grinning in triumph anyway. 

He turned to hi-five Oikawa, only to find that the other boy had disappeared. "Hey, did you see where he went?" 

He found Oikawa outside, his frame seemingly curled in on itself as he hunched over one of the arcade pinball machines. As he reached out a hand, something told him not to hit the other boy awake like he usually would, and he nudged his shoulder softly.

"You okay?" 

Oikawa's face was pale when he looked up, but he smiled. "We won, right? I'm praying for us to win again next round, too!"

"You're so weird."

"Don't you love my weirdness?" 

Oikawa didn't, in the auditory nightmare of talking and screaming and arcade music, hear something tip out of his hoodie pocket and fall to the ground with a soft, plastic click.

15\. Go to the arcade with Makki and Mattsun

─

"Hi, sorry could we get a bag please?" 

Oikawa stumbled over to the prize redemption counter, loaded down with an armful of stuffed toys. He had, unsurprisingly, proven to be a genius at claw machines, and by the time their credits ran out he'd caught three or more plushies and assorted prizes for each of the four. For his Iwa-chan he'd picked up a three-foot tall Godzilla plush, a smaller one to hang on his bag, a giant Jigglypuff he claimed was Iwaizumi's spirit animal, on top of various bags of snacks and sweets. For Makki and Mattsun there were similar plushies, all adding up to make it look as if the four of them had robbed a toystore. 

His sister wasn't even fazed to see the four of them at the door with all their toys, looking like a farmer with his dozen sheep. 

"Another sleepover? Especially you Iwaizumi, you might as well live here," she laughed as she took the two-foot tall bread plush from Oikawa to dump on the sofa. 

"We're going to bake something," he answered cheerily. "Anything Takeru wants to eat?" 

After depositing all their prizes in Oikawa's room, they got around to baking brownies to be topped with marshmallows. Low-level chaos ensued, what with the blowing of flour on hair and smearing of butter and sugar on faces, and by the end of it they had pretty much the same amount of brownie in the pan as there was on each other. 

"Hey, I'm going to the toilet." Oikawa headed off to his room, shutting the door tight behind him before allowing himself to begin panicking. His fingers became frantic as he searched his hoodie pocket for his lifeline.

It's gone. 

He froze where he was for just a moment. The throbbing, sharp stabs in his head were only getting worse by the second, without those painkillers he'd-

"Open the door!" 

He barged into his older sister's room, forgetting all about politeness in his dazed fit. "Do you have painkillers? I need to borrow some they're downstairs and they can't see me like this pleas-" 

"I'll get some from downstairs, just wait here Tooru-" 

But within the moment it took for her to get up from her bed, Oikawa had collapsed, eyes rolling back in his head as his body crumpled under him.

16\. Get good at claw machines and wreck their lives  
17\. Have a sleepover  
18\. Bake something

─

_"What happened to him?"_

_"Oikawa-san was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer a month ago. It seems he missed multiple doses of corticosteroids and the swelling caused a surplus of pressure near his cerebellum, causing him to lose consciousness."_

_"Brain cancer?"_

_"Hospital records also show that he has missed the last two radiation therapy sessions."_

_"But doctor...will he recover from this?"_

18.5 Oops. Explain to Iwa-chan why I didn't tell him I have brain cancer?  
18.75 Make sure he's not mad

─

"Aren't you glad to see me again, Iwa-chan?" 

"Stupid. You're so stupid, you know?" Iwaizumi glowered at him as he opened the door to let him in. "I can't believe you."

"Let's go out," Oikawa said cheerily. "I want to take pictures for my instagram. It's next on my to-do list."

Oikawa dragged Iwaizumi to the biggest mall in the city, full of bright, glass storefronts and designer logos. "Iwa-chan, pick some clothes! You need more than just the same few outfits you wear, you know!" 

"Does money fall from the sky?" he retorted, rolling his eyes but not protesting any further.

"Well, if money fell from the sky, I'd spend some on myself," Oikawa said, seemingly in thought. "Unfortunately it doesn't, so I'm just spending it on you. No point wasting money on myself when I'm dying soon."

"Don't say that."

"Chill! I was just ki-" 

"Don't."

"Okay, anything for you then." 

Oikawa picked out at least three different color-coordinated outfits for Iwaizumi to try on in the fitting room, barging into his after he was done to take selfies in the floor-length mirror. 

"Look how long your legs are! Iwa-chan, are you a giraffe?" 

"I can't be a giraffe, idiot. Aren't you taller than me?" 

"Oh, yeah. Maybe your torso got compressed as a child!"

"I'm going to strangle you with this jacket sleeve."

Oikawa ended up buying Iwaizumi two of the three outfits, only dropping the third one because he staunchly insisted he was "NOT about to go out in the street with leather jeans so tight strangers could trace the entire outline of my groin". Despite the mindblowing definition it brought to the muscles along his thighs, Oikawa decided not to push it.

"And you had to buy the chains too. Really."

"Yeah, and the rings, it matches you so well!" 

"I look like a gang member and not the good kind."

"That's sexy."

"..."

Oikawa swung the bags in his hands back and forth as he walked down the street, Iwaizumi close behind him. He looked down as his foot kicked something, and a faintly metallic sound echoed to his right. It was a bottle of bright blue spray paint, toppled and rolling against the wall of the alley.

"Iwa-chan..."

"No, oh my god don't you dare-" 

Oikawa shook the can of spray paint, hearing the remaining paint slosh inside of it. "There's some left! Hm, now what should I write?" 

He deliberated over OIKAWA WAS HERE and IWAIZUMI AND OIKAWA WERE HERE before realising there probably wasn't enough paint to write the second one, but at the same time he was unwilling to leave his Iwa-chan out.

"Idiot, what are you writing?" 

He reached his arm up the graffiti-covered wall to find an empty place and sprayed. IWAOI WAS HERE!!! 

"Vandalism is against the law and punishable by a fine of 500 dollars or 7 days' jail," Iwaizumi recited from the sign aptly posted at the edge of the wall.

"I simply choose not to see it," Oikawa laughed, dropping the now-empty paint can. "Iwa-chan, run before the police get here!" 

"Hey, wait for me dumbass!" 

Iwaizumi caught up to Oikawa halfway down the street, smacking his leg with one of the bags he was carrying.

19\. Take cute pictures for my instagram  
20\. Take Iwa-chan clothes shopping  
21\. Actually, take Iwa-chan shopping for accessories too  
22\. Commit a crime  
23\. Become a wanted fugitive after committing a crime

─

_"Hey Iwa-chan..."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Don't come over today."_

_"Hm? Why?"_

_"...I want to sleep. I'm tired today. Don't you have to study anyway? You'll be stupid when school reopens if you don't~"_

_"You're so annoying. But okay, you sound tired. I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?"_

_"Bye Iwa-chan!"_

_"I love you too. Sleep well."_

Iwaizumi held his phone in his hand long after the dial tone ended and silence ensued. He wondered why hearing Oikawa say "Bye Iwa-chan!" was like fire in his mind, fire in his eyes, threatening to spill over. On hindsight, maybe it had been intuition. But, per Oikawa's instructions, he sat back down at his study table and opened his chemistry textbook.

─

7 missed calls from Tooru's Mother 05:48

His phone shook in his hand with the force of his grip, body trembling from the absorbed shock of forcefully swallowed sobs as he turned it off again. 

The bike ride to the hospital was so short, yet it seemed like time flowed slower around him. The rising sun in the horizon was heart-wrenchingly beautiful in the escaping night. 

_Tooru would love the sunrise. He'd have asked me to take so many photos of him with it as a backdrop, he'd have made stupid poses-_

Iwaizumi remembered the way he'd complained the last time Oikawa begged him to help take pictures for the hundredth time. 

_I would take a hundred more pictures, I want to take more, please Tooru..._

He dumped his bicycle at the front gate carelessly, shoes thudding along the now-familiar path down the corridor to the ward with its number branded firmly in his head. 

The doctor and Oikawa's parents were already in the room when Iwaizumi got there, and he couldn't help the heave of relief that left him as he took in the first thing he saw as he entered the room. The heartbeat monitor, blipping with a slow, steady beat. 

"What happened to him?"

"Oikawa-san coded twice during the night," the doctor answered. "His heart stopped for multiple minutes before he could be resuscitated. He has yet to regain consciousness."

"But, he's okay?" 

"There could be side effects of the deoxygenation we don't yet know about. It's been a rough night for him."

Iwaizumi sat down in the open chair next to his bed.

"Tooru, it's morning," he said softly, threading his fingers with Oikawa's. "You made it through the night. I'm here now, if you can feel me..."

He was tempted to fall silent again, but he knew if Oikawa could, he'd want him to continue talking.

"The sunrise is beautiful today. It's not as beautiful as you, but still. If you can hear me, tell me you can. I'll know."

The cold, still hand between his fingers moved, squeezing softly, grip almost reassuring against his hand for a long moment, before it was silent again.

Oikawa Tooru coded for the third and final time at 7:02AM on the 30th of June, 2012. Just like that he slipped through Iwaizumi's fingers, transient as the escaping summer.

─

_"Doctor, I know...it's almost time," he smiled ruefully, lying back against the pillows. "I'm ready...to go. Will the trauma surgeons...resuscitate me if...if my heart stops tonight?"_

_"Yes, unless indicated otherwise."_

_"Okay. It could...be tonight. I feel it. I want to...make it through. But you know that...that boy?"_

_"Yes."_

_"If he comes...in the morning...then I don't want you to...bring me back anymore. I want to...see the last sunrise with...with him..."_

_"I understand, Oikawa-san."_

─

In some cultures, they believe that those who pass away at night take from the living, and those who pass in the morning give back. 

To give back...It was always in Oikawa's nature to give, even if he didn't know it himself. It followed him right till the very end.

"He held on through the night," his mom said softly, gripping Iwaizumi's hand in hers as tears slipped down her cheeks. "You know why? He wanted us all to have a good night's rest before we had to come back. He wanted to see the last sunrise with us. With you."

─

EPILOGUE: Last Words

7\. Start a diary for people to read after I d word

Iwaizumi flipped through the pages, all beginning with some variation of Dear diary. There seemed to be one for almost every day, some short, barely half a page, some long, up to three pages.

The last entry, dated June 29th, was addressed with Dear Iwa-chan!. But the writing was not his familiar neat slant. He supposed by then Oikawa no longer had the ability to hold a pen for an extended period of time, and had to dictate it for someone else to write down. 

_Dear Iwa-chan,_

_If you're seeing this, which you definitely will at some point, it means I'm probably dead now. Will you believe me if I tell you I kind of knew it? I don't know. I felt it. My thought processes were beginning to shut down. It's like watching water freeze in real time, you know? Slowly, steadily it becomes solid, and it doesn't move anymore no matter how hard you shake it. But like some cheesy Disney movie said, water has memory, and I'm glad I have my memories of you to keep me company right till the very end. I didn't want you to come over today because I don't want this to be your last memory of me. You said I sounded tired. I am tired, and I can't really speak well anymore. I've been dictating this letter for nearly half an hour now. But anyway. I'm sure you know everything I have to say to you, but I'll say it again just to make sure. I love you. If there's anyone I've ever truly loved in that way, it's you. I'm sorry I let you down by keeping it a secret for so long. I didn't want the way things were between us to change. But it changed anyway, and surprisingly, I don't really mind it. I'm happy my last spoken words to you were a goodbye. Take those as my parting words to you, but also take this: I hope you move on. Of course I hope you remember me, but scars will heal. Pain will dull. And I won't be here to see it, but I don't want you to miss me too much. I trust you'll live your best life for me. Souls that bond in life will meet again in the next. If there is a life after death, I will wait for you. And we'll see our next sunrise together one day, wherever it is._

24\. Tell Iwa-chan I love him. For real.  
25\. And tell him not to miss me when I'm gone.

And the last line, now written in Oikawa's familiar cursive script, but shaky, as if he had written it in a fluctuating state of coherence.

_Thank you for making me happy all these years. Goodbye, Hajime. I love you._

_Thank you for seeing the last sunrise with me. Goodbye, Tooru. I love you._

It was difficult not to miss Tooru every day, every hour, like he'd wanted. It hurt so much to think of everything they could have been, but through it all Iwaizumi refused to let himself forget everything they already were. He was everywhere. Stolen selfies littered through his gallery. His jackets and shirts left at Iwaizumi's house. Even the wall in the alley next to the mall in the city, where some of the spray-painted sentence had been obscured by the swirls of another painting beneath it. IWAOI WAS HERE!!! He'd asked Oikawa what it meant back then, and the other boy had cheerfully said he wanted to announce both of their presences, he just didn't have enough paint left to write their full names. Iwaizumi had scolded him for not just writing OIKAWA WAS HERE back then, _"Why did you have to drag me into this, Shittykawa?"_ , but he was glad now, that both their names were there. It was a reminder to him of what they had been together.

Iwaizumi Hajime lived his best life, as Tooru wanted him to. Decades and decades later, he lay facing the window at his hospital bed, overcome with the same knowing that it would soon be the end. He awoke just before sunrise, his body weak, mind slowing as he opened his eyes tiredly. He didn't have much energy to do anything anymore. Old age had spent him, like it did everyone else.

As the first rays of sunrise colored the sky with streaks of orange and pink and gold and blue, a warm, solid hand covered his cold one, fingers intertwining with his. Slowly, surely, he gathered all his remaining energy and squeezed. He could almost see Tooru's smile, hear his voice beside him. 

_Thank you for seeing the last sunrise with me, Hajime._


End file.
